What I Learned from Sitting Alone at a Conference

Darren Lai, 17 September 2025

What I Learned from Sitting Alone at a Conference

I sat in a circle of empty chairs at an open space session during the Shanghai Regional Scrum Gathering, staring at an orphaned topic paper about agile coaching and parenting. The facilitator hadn’t shown up. Everyone else had moved to busier sessions.

I stayed. Something about those empty chairs felt like possibility.

Then another person sat down. And another. Soon our abandoned circle had drawn a small gathering. We began talking about how the same principles of respect and trust we bring to teams transform when we bring them home. We compared stories: letting kids choose their own summer activities like we let teams plan their sprints, supporting their hobby experiments the way we encourage teams to try and learn, trusting their judgment rather than imposing our plans.

That conversation in the abandoned circle became my conference highlight. Not despite the empty chairs, but because of them.

I’ve been thinking about what waits in the spaces we usually hurry past. What conversations might emerge if we sat with the uncertainty instead of seeking the sure thing? Those empty chairs taught me something I’m still learning: sometimes the best discoveries happen when we stop chasing and simply create space.